Day 177: The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  ISBN: 9781598872712 (audiobook).

I don't think I could stand having a lover that time traveled.  I think if I knew when I started dating a person that they had this problem, I would have to be pretty sure the relationship was going to last.  Imagine being in love with someone who popped in and out of your life, and you never knew when they were going to show up, or for how long, or which version of them it would be. 

One day you could be with your 20-year-old lover, and the next day you could be with him at 40 after you've just had a messy divorce and he hates your guts.  Or you could be with both at the same time.  Wouldn't that be fun.

I think the nice thing about linear time (at least as far as we can perceive) is that we only have to go through stuff like that once.  We get to be and deal with each other as 20-year-olds for only a year.  Imagine traveling back in time and watching your 20-year-old self doing stupid shit you know you're going to regret, and not being able to do anything about it because it's already happened, and therefore you cannot change it.  Or better yet, having your 20-year-old self travel forward in time and seeing how pathetic you become and dishing out the criticism, etc.  We're already self-critical of ourselves in the present; now imagine actually having that manifest in physical form.  You know you would kick your own ass, and not regret doing it either.

Now imagine having a lover, a person you became extremely vulnerable to and told all your secrets to and likely had many, many embarassing moments with (because sex is dumb like that).  Now imagine that lover can pop in and out of your life as a 20-year-old.  Sure, it might be fun when you're 36 and successful and still dating the 38-year-old version of your lover to take the 20-year-old version to bed, because damn that would be hot.  It's not so hot when you're 70 and starting to go senile and occasionally can't make it to the bathroom on time and your lover has been dead for 30 years and now he's popped back in and he is almost godlike in his youthful beauty and he is looking at you like, "Thank god I'll be dead and don't have to wake up to that in the morning."

As romantic as Niffenegger made it all sound, I somehow doubt it would all work together so perfectly, and there would be far more heartache involved than just time traveling back to your mother's fatal car accident or the night your ex-girlfriend committed suicide.  I think it would be terribly messy and you probably wouldn't live to the ripe old middle age that Henry managed to get to.  Give me regular linear time travel any day.  I'd rather my heartbreak only show up in the here and now and not come unbidden into my future.

I don't absolutely hate the book like the writer of this review, but I do think she points out all the major flaws (which I mostly agree with).

Day 176: The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  ISBN: 9781598872712 (audiobook).

I think one of the major reasons to read books versus watching the movie is for little gems like this,

“I now have an erection that is tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America.”

Nice.

Strangely I was not expecting this line from uh, literary fiction?  Science fiction?  Romance?  Where does this book really fall?  I don't know that there's actually enough science fiction in it to qualify it there, and not enough graphic sex scenes for it to be smut, although there's definitely more than enough.  It's not so literary as to be literary fiction.

In any case, I sometimes purposefully read romance novels expressly for descriptions such as this.  Because I bet you are also still laughing your ass off and imaging a giant penis standing in a roller coaster line next to one of those cartoon cardboard cut outs with the "Must be this tall to ride" signs.  The truth is, romance novels are such a guilty pleasure of mine that I almost considered starting a blog just for that.

The problem with a romance novel blog is that it necessitates reading romance novels regularly enough to write about them on a regular basis.  There is only so much titillation I can stand, and only so many descriptions of "pulsing purple warheads" and "round globes of flesh" I can read before it loses all meaning and what little charm it had to begin with.  On the other hand, I do read romance novels.  So you will at least someday see a post or two about them here on Lib's LIB.  Depending on your definition I've actually already covered two romance novels by Gail Carriger.  Personally, it's a little too plot driven and can stand on it's own without the sex, but I'm sure some uptight school marm might consider it smutty.

Do you want to know what my blog would have been, if things had been different? 

Title: Highfalutin Smut
Genre: Romance, Smut, Naughty Stories
Highlights: Best (i.e. most hilarious) description of male anatomy, female anatomy, and/or Other anatomy and/or orgasm.
Overviews of plot, characters, and whether or not I liked it.
Rating system: Inches, duh.  Each section would get a rating, how uh, enticing it is, how believable the plot, etc.  The combined score would be the Falute.  The better the smut the more Highfalutin.

Just think, you guys could be reading Highfalutin Smut right now.  Instead, I went for something a little more cerebral...  and I still write about oversized penises, glowing vampire poop, and sadistic ponies (although, Rupert isn't sadistic in that particular story).

I don't absolutely hate the book like the writer of this review, but I do think she points out all the major flaws (which I mostly agree with).

Day 175: Ape House

Ape House by Sara Gruen. ISBN: 9780385523219 (ARC - published Sept. 7, 2010).

As fascinating as the bonobos were in this novel, the human reaction to them was almost more fascinating.  Once they were put on television, it was like people couldn't stop watching the hot ape on ape action, even as they were somewhat "mortified" by it.  I use quotations, because I doubt they were really mortified with the actual acts, but more the realization that they enjoyed the simian exhibitionist sexploitation.

We're human.  We are naturally curious about sex.  And we have the severe misfortune of also being nosy.  It's why I think we're moving away from being social creatures in-person.  It's easier to snoop and stalk and potentially offend online than it is to go through someone's trash unobserved.  And really, the observation is where we get in trouble with the other primates on our block.  You can pretty much be rude to or about anyone in private, but as soon as you bring that in to a public sphere (regardless of whether it's true), everyone is all, "Ohmygod, did you just fling poo?"  Even the people who participated in the behind the scenes poo flinging with you only moments before.  It's as if we can engage in honest behavior and conversations, regardless of how terrible they are, but they don't actually become terrible up until they are brought into the public or to the person in question.

Anyway, here's my theory.  I don't think we would be as vicious towards each other behind closed doors if we were more open about how we felt about each other.  Honestly, our cage has gotten mighty cramped in the past 50 years.  We are bound to exhibit stress behavior as resources (if you view jobs and social security, etc. as such) become more scarce and we're competing less with people and more with hordes of people.  So yeah, we're going to start flinging poo like crazy and participate in "catty" behavior as a response to territorial defense of perceived threats.

At least with monkeys and apes flinging poo you know when it's flying and it can only be a certain level of disgusting.  Some of the things I've heard out of other people's mouths about my coworkers...and even some of the things I've said myself, definitely worse than any turds I could have thrown at them.  You can wash that shit off, but it's hard to get rid of the taint of a tarnished reputation when you can't even defend yourself from unknown allegations.  It may be more hurtful... but at least we'll know where the stink is coming from and we can avoid the poo flingers instead of having lunch with them every day.

Also, I totally expect my search stats to go up after using the term "poo flinging" so many times.

My review can be found on Goodreads.

*On a side note, by 200th post is only 25 posts away.  Would you like me to do something special for it?  For those of you who missed it, my 100th ...er 102nd post was glorious.  Do we want more Rupert? Or something else...an interview of me? Of one of my guest bloggers?  My first foray into t-shirts perhaps?

Day 174: Ape House

Ape House by Sara Gruen. ISBN: 9780385523219 (ARC - published Sept. 7, 2010).

Even though there aren't many of them, I loved the interactions with the apes in this book.  Gruen made them so dynamic and engaging that I just wanted to know what they would do next.  I've always been fascinated with animals.  I could watch ants until my eyes bled, just observing different sections of the colony and how it all functions together.

Animal behavior is so intriguing because it feels like I can almost figure out what they're thinking and why they do it.  But then I have to keep in mind that some of it is bound to be instinctual and there's the mystery of exactly how much is and how much isn't.

We've all had pets who were to dear to us because their behavior seemed so human and empathetic on one level, and inexplicably animal on the other.  I think it's why we sometimes trust our animals more than our best friends.  I think we still would even if those animals could communicate in a human language.  I've had cats that would curl up with me when I was crying or upset about something.  I practiced my French on Simon, and my room mate's cat thinks I'm a chew toy and more or less hates my guts most of the time.  Probably because I end up clipping his nails all the time, whereas my room mate is the one who gives him gooshy food.  You would think the liberal doses of catnip would even it out, but no.

Rocky was excellent at being almost human.  Rocky was my first cat, and I was in love with him in the way that only a five year old girl can be in love with her first pet.  He was very good at knowing exactly when I needed his company, going so far as to join me on anger fueled walks.  Sometimes he trotted ahead of me, seeming to scout the area and turning back to "mreowch" at me to make sure I was still following.

It really makes me wonder how we can possibly treat our animals the way we do.  I don't necessarily mean pets.  And I do understand the necessities of animal testing, but there is a level of understanding of what it means to have these animals.  It is particularly distressing to me when animals higher in cognizance than mice are used, because I'm deeply afraid on some level that they know what is being done to them and why, even if they don't know details.  And I think I worry that one day we'll have to answer for what we've done to them.

My review can be found on Goodreads.

Day 173: The Fall

The Fall by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan.  ISBN: 9780061558221 (ARC - publishes Sept. 21, 2010).

This kept a really good dark tone for most of the book.  Except for the blog entries by Fet.  Really?  Blogging?  During the vampocalypse?

Dear readers, I promise you one thing: if things start going down where my family and I will potentially be attacked by vampires, I will not be blogging about it.  I will be hiding my ass away from the world.  Someone else can be the internet hero.  I think blogging is important; I think it is an excellent way to provide information to people who want it and an even better outlet for people to share their thoughts (even if it's only with 30-something readers).  I do not think it will matter so much during a time of crisis in which everything is going to hell.

I also found the concept a bit ridiculous.  The population of New York was decimated or turned vampire, brown outs were occurring constantly, cell phone towers were down, and yet somehow Fet had regular enough internet access to update his blog.  Even updating sporadically, this seems a bit far to ask us to suspend our disbelief.  And really, who thinks it would be a good idea to blog their way through the end times?

It probably won't be an issue.  Not because they won't come eventually, but because I doubt anyone will have time or the stability to do it.  But if you had the chance...would you?  Would you blog the apocalypse?

My review can be found on Goodreads.

Day 172: The Fall

The Fall by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan.  ISBN: 9780061558221 (ARC - publishes Sept. 21, 2010).

These are not romantic vampires.  These are vampires that poop.  Everywhere.  All the time.  They are apparently related to rats, or at least share many characteristics with them, namely they can't throw up and they are incontinent...and their urine and feces glows in UV lights (with rats it's black light).  Applying this behavior to other vampires is hilarious.  Cullen squatting over a toilet constantly, whilst sparkling and dropping nuclear-glow turds definitely appeals to my puerile since of humor.

Another thing I liked about this was the vampires as parasitic viruses.  The virus seems to be carried and sustained by a worm, which prolongs the life of the host, but weakens it to sunlight and (for some reason) silver.  Somewhat similar to the superior Necroscope series, but I like the semi-scientific explanation of vampires and how they work.  On some level, it makes the vampires more and less terrifying at the same time.  Less terrifying because if there's a scientific explanation, there's a scientific solution.  More terrifying because it puts the phenomena on our level; it makes it real.  It makes everyone susceptible to it, because you don't have to do anything stupid like invite a vampire into your house or break a cursed seal on some bottle or be walking out on a full moon.

You know what else makes vampires terrifying?  Their humanity.  But it has to be that perfect balance of human and depravity.  I know for me, I'm not afraid so much of the monster, but of the human, and not knowing where the line is.  It's part of the reason I enjoyed the Buffy versions of vampires, the idea that the demon enhanced current underlying violent and hidden tendencies.  Even as they were making fun of the vampires (namely Spike), you could imagine them being placed in a different setting and completely wreaking havoc.  In the end, what's more horrifying than what we can do to each other?  We expect horrible things from monsters. To realize that we are the monster...who is safe from that?

My review can be found on Goodreads.

Day 171: Jen Karsbaek (Interview)

This interview is part of Book Blogger Appreciation Week.  I signed up to exchange interviews with another blogger, and I had the pleasure and privilege of interviewing Jen Karsbaek from Devourer of Books.  This is an edited version in which I look less stupid, fix typos and spelling, and cut out some of the irrelevant chit chat.

LibsLIB:  Good evening O Devourer of Books.  I believe we have an appointment. 
Jen:  We do indeed, hello!  How are you this fine evening?

LibsLIB:  Not too bad, haven't been sleeping well lately, but I have the feeling that's due more to allergies and late night video game binges than ill health.  Yourself?

Jen:  I also didn't sleep well last night, but more because I was awakened right as I was falling asleep, then just couldn't get back.  I saw your posts about Mockingjay, did you stay up late reading it? 

LibsLIB:  I read it in two sittings, my room mate brought it home around 6, I think I started reading it at 8 and read it until almost 2am, and then picked back up at around noon.  I needed to put it down quite a bit to think about certain parts, so it took me longer to read than expected.  So how long have you been blogging and what got you started? 
Jen:  I've been blogging about two and 1/2 years now, I started in February of 2008 after finding out that such things as book blogs existed through a conversation on LibraryThing. Since many of the people in my real life were sick of hearing about what I was reading, I thought the internet might be interested (or would at least give me an outlet to express my thoughts).  Plus, I had so many people asking what I was reading and what I had thought of it, I thought it might be easier to just point them to my blog.

LibsLIB:  Have you had any posts that caused a great deal of uproar, either from spoilers leaked or disagreement about review, etc.?  If not is it something you worry about.

Jen:  I'm very careful not to give out spoilers or, if I am going to do so, to be very clear that there will be spoilers, so I haven't had any problems with that.  The only reader disagreements I have had with my reviews have come from young teens finding some of my YA or Middle Grade reviews that have been less than positive (Twilight and one or two others).  I don't worry about it too much, I either ignore them or, if they are too rude/abusive, I don't allow them the privilege of commenting. I don't care if people disagree, but I do care that they are civil. 

More obnoxious or worrisome are  comments from authors or people who are quite obviously friends of authors who take issue with negative reviews.  That doesn't happen often, but it does happen occasionally. and primarily with self-published authors.  This is why I just don't accept books from self-published authors any longer, and I haven't really had an issues since then.  Google alerts are a great thing for authors, but I think there are some authors who probably shouldn't be using them, if they cannot either accept or ignore negative reactions to their books. You're never going to do anything creative that is universally loved.

LibsLIB:  Ah see, I thought they just spent all day searching for themselves, didn't realize Google had that service.  How many books do you try usually read per week, and how often do you post?

Jen:  I try to finish at least 3 print and one audio book per week, depending on the length of the books. I generally post 5-6 days per week right now, but that is going to increase to 7 days a week next month during my special Chicago authors feature month, and will likely stay at 7 days per week, because I am planning to start a new 'Saturday Story Spotlight' feature on Saturdays to talk about the books my son is enjoying or I am enjoying reading to him

LibsLIB:  How old is your child, do you have more than one?

Jen:  He's one, actually, he's our only one right now

LibsLIB:  How do you manage to find time to read and take care of your family?  Do you work as well?

Jen:  Yes, I am working part-time. Audiobooks are a big way I sneak in extra reading time, when I'm driving, cooking, cleaning, etc. The other thing is that I end up prioritizing reading over doing things like putting away laundry, because it is my relaxation/escape, even if it is a heavier book.  Plus I just carry a book everywhere I go to squeeze every possible reading moment out of my day (like if my son falls asleep in the car, etc).

LibsLIB:  Do you participate in reading challenges or book blog memes?  What do you think about them in general?

Jen:  Last year was the first time I signed up for challenges and I think I signed up for 15 or so, but I've found that my reading revolves so much around my review copies and what I've taken out from the library (poor, neglected books I own!) that I never make a point to read anything for challenges. This year I'll only be signing up for a couple of challenges, and only ones like What's In A Name that I can complete by accident.

The only meme I participate in regularly is the Sunday Salon, and that's not really very meme-y. Every so often I'll do a Library Loot or Teaser Tuesday, but probably not even once a month these days.

I think memes have their place, particularly for people who are just starting out in blogging and can use them to connect to the community, but at a certain point  people need to move beyond them and just pick one or two favorites that they really embrace and sort of make their own, or they risk having their own voice lost amongst content largely developed by other people.

LibsLIB:  What is the best book you've read this year, and the worst?

Jen:  I've finished 160 books so far this year, so it is tough to pick just one! Among the best are "The Weight of Heaven" by Thrity Umrigar and "Red Hook Road" by Ayelet Waldman.

If I've read anything that was really terrible, I've DNF'd it and can't even remember now, but I think "The Captive Queen" by Alison Weir was the biggest disappointment, because the first 20 pages were pretty bad, and I generally like her work

LibsLIB:  How do you choose what to read, and where do you usually get your books from?

 Jen:  The majority of my books these days are review copies that come from publishers, authors, and outside publicists, as well as Shelf Awareness and LibraryThing Early Reviewers.  I decide what to read based on release dates, how long I've had the book, and pure interest/whim.

LibsLIB:  I noticed in your about me section that it says you're a knitter, if you were going to design a scarf for your favorite character/author who would it be for and what would it look like? 

Jen:  Well, it would probably be for Cathy from East of Eden. That's my favorite book, and she's the most interesting character therein who would wear a scarf...  I think it would have to be cashmere, mixed with something shiny in a subtle way, a dark scarf with a bit of a spark.  Plus an intricate design that I'd probably have to do a lot of research to figure out, something  that wraps around and repeats itself.

Day 170: The Wave

The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks, and Giants of the Ocean by Susan Casey  ISBN: 9780767928847 (Bound Galley).

The next time I really got tossed on my ass by a wave was in Hawaii.  I can't remember which island we were on at the time, because I've visited two.  I'm fairly certain we were on Hawaii (the Big Island) at the time.  It was the last real family vacation I ever went on, and we had both sets of grandparents along with us.  About a year later, my parents would be embroiled in divorce proceedings and my brother's drug problems and violence towards me would escalate.  But for the time, we were all happy and having a wonderful tropical vacation.

It was near the end of the vacation, and we had already packed in quite a bit.  We visited old lava flows and the petroglyphs and black sand beaches.  There was snorkeling and lots of time spent out in the sun, with all of the grandparents in full wide-brim hats and zinc on their noses to protect paper thin skin.  It was just me, my brother, and my parents out on the beach at that point.  The grandparents were tired, but my brother and I wanted to continue body surfing.  The tide was just starting to turn and the waves alternated between gentle swells and what seemed like giants.

I didn't have my back turned this time, so much as I picked the wrong part of the wave to ride.  For those of you who haven't been body surfing, you have to choose the exact right part of the wave.  You want to surf the top near the crest of the wave, but not so close that you'll end up in the whitewater (the part that crashes - either onto land or more water depending on how far out you are).  If you catch it too far back you won't go very far and it makes for a disappointing wave, whereas if you catch it too early...

This is what happened to me that day.  I jumped with the wave a little too early, and it decided to pipeline.  I was caught in a sort of horizontal water tornado.  It brought me up and up, and then I lost all sense of direction as it flipped me over.  At some point my head hit the bottom of the ocean, bruising my forehead.  Luckily we were on a soft sand beach (fine grains, with little to no rocks), but it was still enough force to make me dizzy.  When I finally found my footing I headed back for shore as quickly as possible, afraid that I might lose consciousness in the ocean.  My brother mocked me, but having previous experience with the ocean's moods, I knew better than to risk it.

You don't have to be a surfer to die in the surf.  You don't even have to be out in twenty, thirty, fifty, or eighty foot swells.  You can die just as easily on an eight foot wave.  Sharks are less likely to kill you than the ocean itself, but it's too hard to make a monster out of something so transient and ever-changing.  It's why we keep getting back in the water, and why it keeps reminding us that doing so, even in the calmest situations, is not always safe.  But then that's life.

My review can be found on Goodreads.

Day 169: The Wave

The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks, and Giants of the Ocean by Susan Casey.  ISBN: 9780767928847 (Bound Galley).

I might have been six.  It was an overcast day, chilly, but not too cold.  One of those California days where a windbreaker isn't a bad idea, and it was the early 90's or late 80's when windbreakers were "cool."  The entire family was out on the beach for the day, probably in addition to a trip to one of the more interesting coastal towns.

I was wading in the water, enjoying the feel of fine sand between my toes, and the push and pull of the water.  I looked back to watch my family walk further up the beach, away from the surf.  My dad cupped his hand around his mouth and yelled at me,

"Don't turn your back on the ocean."

And as I turn around, a wave knocks me off my feet and takes me out to sea.  I felt it suck me back as I gulped sea water, my eyes burning from the salt.  My head broke the surface some seconds later and I coughed the water back out and tried to orient myself before the wave pushed me back under.  I was actually more calm under the water than above.  Underneath I knew the wave would have its way with me, and there was not much I could do but wait for my next breath.  The calm I felt was uncanny, as if it would be okay if I just let go and let the ocean have me.  The wave finally let me go, pushing me out of the surf and onto the sandy beach.  I scrambled up before another wave could take me.  And I never turned my back again.

But it wasn't the last time the ocean tossed me around like a toy.  Read more tomorrow.

This is a good overview of what's in the book, if not an actual review.

Day 168: The Witch of Hebron

The Witch of Hebron by James Howard Kunstler.  ISBN: 9780802116912 (uncorrected proof - published September 7, 2010).

 Kunstler mentions the "soporific effects" of reading.  You would think that a book that puts you to sleep has no value as literature, but hey, some of us have trouble sleeping.  There were definitely moments in this book where I hit the snooze button, but then the switching back and forth between characters and very short chapter length probably led to some lack of inattention on my part.  It's hard to keep track of everyone or become invested early on in the book when you only read 5 pages for each POV.

When I was young I sometimes had trouble sleeping (and still do).  I would always go into my mom's room and whine at her.  She would tell me to just go to my room and read for awhile or lay in the dark with my eyes closed.  Neither of these really seemed to work, but reading especially didn't help.  I would get too wrapped up in the characters and find myself still awake at 2AM.  Nowadays reading does tend to help more often than not.  Maybe it's because I've read it all before.  There's not much new out there to keep my attention late into the night unless it's particularly well written.  Maybe adult literature is just more boring (the books I have stayed up for, even now, tend to be YA).

Or maybe I trained myself to fall asleep when I read.  There were hours I spent doing reading homework because I would take naps between chapters in college and high school.  Does anyone else out there read to help them sleep?  Are there specific books you use?  Was there a book that made you fall asleep so often that you couldn't finish it or it took you ages to finish it?

My review can be found on Goodreads.