04 November 2010
Day 222: Sleep Like This
Have you ever had friend who wanted you to read her writing and you were terrified to read it because you were afraid you would hate it? I have. Dayna is one of my guest bloggers and a friend from Antioch College. We were not what I would call close, but I always admired her ability to produce weird and amazing conversation and her general upbeat attitude. I don't think I ever saw her go through the usual angst of college co-eds. This is not to say she was or is bubbly, she is just one of those people that it makes you feel good to be around.
Part of the reason I may have enjoyed this book so much is that I know Dayna personally. And I also know the setting she based the novel on, so all of the drama involved in the book was familiar. There is no drama like the drama that comes about at a small liberal arts college with a mostly queer/gender queer population. Everybody knows every god damned body, and I mean that in multiple contexts, positions, and combinations. It wasn't so much that everyone slept with everyone at the college, but there were definitel "hubs" of sexual activity and it created some particularly interesting discussions about trying to figure out who slept with who and games of 6 degrees were usually only challenging if you started off with some who only slept with townies or people from other schools or from co-op jobs.
I very much identified with Regina Scott in Dayna's novel. She was dealing with some very difficult issues her first year at college, which is itself often trying. Scott was dealing with how to have a relationship with someone who is not ready for one, and I have most certainly been there.
When I entered college I made the big mistake of keeping my boyfriend from high school (who was in Mississppi). It was easy for us to have a relationship when we could see each other often, but as soon as I moved to college he seemed to lose interest in communicating with me. This was a big problem for me since that was pretty much the only thing our relationship was based on once I moved. Because this was my first "adult" relationship, I did not handle things as well as I should have and things ended much later than they should have and in a way I am not proud of. This would have been fine if my partner was about the same age as me, but because he was 29 (to my 18) I think we were both expecting more from each other in terms of maturity and "doing the right thing."
It is hard to come to the conclusion that you are the only one who has your best interests in mind. As much as I wanted to stay with my boyfriend and have a life with him, I was only 18 and he should have let me go, especially if he had no interest in actually putting the time and work into a relationship with me. I cannot tell you the amount of angst the relationship itself put me through, and the covery period was extended because of all the issues surrounding my inexperience with Just Dating and deteriorating health of My First Relationship.
Post originally written October 21, 2010 so I could catch up on my own reading, writing, or sleeping.
ANNOUNCEMENT! If you liked this post, you may be interested in reading the book yourself. Dayna Ingram is having a contest for her book over at Goodreads. Just sign up for an account (if you don't have one already, and enter here. Quick! It ends November 12!