29 July 2010

Day 124: Evermore

Evermore by Alyson Noel.  ISBN: 9780312532758.

I so wanted to enjoy this book. It's been a while since I read a book that I've just...oh wait no, nevermind, I really liked Little Women and Werewolves so I can't complain about not reading good books recently.  I think I'm so annoyed with this because, despite the fact I was able to read it in two days, it was so repetitive that it feels like I've been reading it for ages.

I am now convinced that Evermore is not the title, so much as the answer to the question, "How much longer do I have to read about Haven eating cupcakes and Damen pulling red tulips out of Ever's ass ear?"  Congratulations Twilight you now have company in the vomit club, as in the club of books that make me want to vomit.

Why do I have a problem with these books?  I don't know, I'm just tired of seeing young girls stay in relationships where their partners are playing mind games with them.  Yes, I know they're young women and they're going to make mistakes, but why do they have to make mistakes with people who live forever.  That is an abusive or potentially abusive relationship they will never be able to escape from.  This is a deeply terrifying thought to me.  Not only that, but these are decision that should not be happening between a 17 year old girl, regardless of the number of reincarnations, and a 600+ year old man.  Knock off a zero from the age, but keep the same level of hotness and tell me age is just a number.  No, 60 year olds think a hell of a lot differently about everything, but especially about relationships.  I know because I think differently about relationships than I did 10 years ago.

I am not saying that all relationships between younger women and older men are bad or automatically doomed to fail.  I just don't think they need to be romanticized this way, especially without a hell of a lot of additional parenting.  If you just hand this book out to your daughters without talking about the issues involved, you might as well be giving her the keys to a frat house and telling her the first hot guy she meets who messes with her head and is "perfect" is the one for her.  On one level I do realize that teenagers are not that stupid.

On the surface.  

A lot of that shit gets internalized in such a bad way that it takes years to scrape it from the inside of our skulls. Young women get told over and over again that they mature faster than boys and you know what, we believe it.  Which means we feel that young men our age are beneath us and not "datable."  These are exactly the men we should be dating, because they have exactly the same amount of dating experience as we do.  When I was 14-21 I wish I had been dating men my age.  Instead I was dating anywhere from 4-11 years older than myself.  The grossest and most regrettable being the 21 year old I dated when I was 14.  If I could go back in time I would beg my mother to press charges, to get a restraining order, anything to keep me away from that "man."  These are not the people we need to be encouraging our young women to wait for.

I don't care if they claim to be patient like Damen does at the end of the novel.  He sure as hell stuck his hands down her pants quick enough and manipulated her physically into wanting intimate contact.  He did not ask beforehand how far she was comfortable with going but waited for her to tell him to back off.  That is not the behavior of a gentleman or of someone who has your best interests in mind, and I don't know why we think this is okay or romantic.  It's not.

I would have less of a problem with these books if I knew that every single teenager who read them understood what is wrong about what is in them and had someone they could talk to about it.  I wish that these books came with required parenting, but somehow I doubt that they do, and that thought scares me and sickens me more than anything I've been through.  Because it means one more girl has to live through what I have and find a way to fix all the fucked up ideas about relationships she has.  And she may not be as lucky to get off as "lightly" as I did.


  1. More importantly is there sex? like, the hot kind? And have you read anything by Bujold?

    PS: Yes, I know they're young women and they're going to make mistakes, but why do they have to make mistakes with people who live forever.


  2. Hi Traveler (who looks suspiciously familiar),

    Nope, there is no sex, at least not in the first book. Nothing by Bujold yet, should I check her out? And if so can you recommend a title?

  3. Yes I can! This is Erin from the Och, btw. Do you want to read about castles and gods, Indians and absent gods, or americans in outer-space.

  4. Ah yes, hi Erin, say hi to Sebastien for me.

    Hrm, random.org says I should go with castles and gods. So we'll start there.

  5. Then check out the curse of chalion. Still has an older man young woman thing though, sorrrrry.

    If you ever feel like SPACE dig on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vorkosigan_Saga
    I had a lot of dreams set in chalion, but Barrayar is my hearts home.

  6. Ugh. I liked Twilight (don't stone me) but I had a rough time with this book. I wanted to like it, but it dragged in so many parts, and it took FOREVER for the big reveal, and so many questions still weren't answered. Even if you have a series, you still need to tie up most of the loose ends. I don't know if I'll read the rest of these. I really wanted to like it, so maybe I'll give the others a chance (especially since I'm writing a paranormal YA and I'm trying to get a feel for what is out there) but there are so many other wonderful books out there waiting for me...

  7. Hi Cari,

    Well, at least the pacing in Evermore was fast enough that I was able to finish it in two days. Granted, the repetitiveness allowed me to skim over most parts of lunch time and anything involving flowers.

    Hopefully you have learned lessons from reading bad paranormal YA and will avoid Evermore's mistakes.

    And I'll admit a little something here, I'm not as vehemently against Twilight as I pretend, I just do not understand the craze surrounding it (Twilight tattooes give me the creeps).

    Anyway, thanks for reading, and good luck with the novel, maybe you can send it my way when it's done. ;-)



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