There's a conversation in this book that I've had with countless numbers of people, mostly family. It basically goes like this:
"I'm not having kids."
"You'll change your mind."
You know what, fuck that. It doesn't matter if I'll change my mind in the future, at the moment, I. Do. Not. Want. Kids. Why not just take that at face value? If you wonder why teenagers get so pissed off, it might be because you don't take them seriously. I've had these feelings since I was about 12; that is over thirteen years that I've stuck with a decision. That's longer than most people like their tattoos.
Let's just pretend for a moment you really like doing things to your body that other people think are crazy, or you don't do things to your body that people think you should do. It's still your body and those people have no right to make comments about what you should and should not do. The only exception might be a doctor or other health professional, but even when it comes down to that you still have the right to fuck up your own body if you damn well please. When it comes down to it, deciding to have or not have children is still a decision about what to do with your body.
People seem to forget that. It's not just a decision about lifestyle, but also about my body and my health. Children are great, I'm not denying that. I love my nephew, but I am a greedy, greedy person and I love my sleep. I am in no way prepared to deal with the little hellion that is likely to spring from my loins should I become pregnant. And please don't give me the whole, "No one is prepared speech." I've heard that one too. I don't think people realize exactly how tiresome the whole conversation is. So if you happen to be one of those people who condescends someone's decision not to produce children, please just bite your tongue and be thankful it's one less potential being to take up resources.
This illustrates the exact problem I had with that movie Four Christmases. Reese and Vince are an "alternative" couple at the beginning of the film - meaning they live together but have no intentions of marrying, and do not want children - but of course of the end of the film they are both married and have kids. Their entire life philosophy changes in the span of two hours! Way to propagandize marriage and procreation, Hollywood! (not that they haven't been doing that for years) I just thought they missed an opportunity to showcase the joys of monogamy outside of legal marriage and the wonders of being in love without the extras (babies).
ReplyDeleteYa know, that actually happens in Rise and Shine, and yeah, it was obnoxious. Granted, Bridget was 43 and it was her last chance to have children, but still... All of a sudden, "Babies!"
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