07 September 2010
Day 164: Breaking Night
I don't have a whole lot in common with Murray. I certainly didn't have parents who did coke (to my knowledge, anyway) and I don't recall ever going hungry even if I didn't get everything I ever wanted. I did skip school. It wasn't so much that I wasn't motivated to go, or that I spent the day hanging out with my friends. Usually I took the day off because I didn't have any friends, and was often actively antagonized by my classmates.
With so little to look forward to in my day, and what seemed like mostly pointless classes, I just stayed home. I think my mother knew that most of the time I was faking illness, and then there were the times were she left for work before I was even awake and told her I didn't go because "I wasn't feeling well." It was true, for three out of four years the idea of going to school filled me with a dread that curled up in my stomach and stayed there all day.
I didn't do much with my days. I actually usually just did homework or read ahead in my textbooks. I watched Ricki Lake and The Price is Right. I napped a lot. I just enjoyed the lack of pressure of staying home. I didn't have to work hard to be invisible or quiet, to try and go unnoticed. A good day at school was one where no one talked to me or about me or pointed at me and laughed. A good day off from school was one where I was able to do whatever I wanted, no one missed me, and I could breathe. If I had been able to go to high school where I could just focus on my classes and be left alone, I would have been fine. Instead I took the maximum number of health days from class I could without failing or getting my mother in trouble.
In contrast I hardly ever missed a class at Antioch.
My review can be found over at Goodreads.com.