I think one of the major reasons to read books versus watching the movie is for little gems like this,
“I now have an erection that is tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America.”
Nice.
Strangely I was not expecting this line from uh, literary fiction? Science fiction? Romance? Where does this book really fall? I don't know that there's actually enough science fiction in it to qualify it there, and not enough graphic sex scenes for it to be smut, although there's definitely more than enough. It's not so literary as to be literary fiction.
In any case, I sometimes purposefully read romance novels expressly for descriptions such as this. Because I bet you are also still laughing your ass off and imaging a giant penis standing in a roller coaster line next to one of those cartoon cardboard cut outs with the "Must be this tall to ride" signs. The truth is, romance novels are such a guilty pleasure of mine that I almost considered starting a blog just for that.
The problem with a romance novel blog is that it necessitates reading romance novels regularly enough to write about them on a regular basis. There is only so much titillation I can stand, and only so many descriptions of "pulsing purple warheads" and "round globes of flesh" I can read before it loses all meaning and what little charm it had to begin with. On the other hand, I do read romance novels. So you will at least someday see a post or two about them here on Lib's LIB. Depending on your definition I've actually already covered two romance novels by Gail Carriger. Personally, it's a little too plot driven and can stand on it's own without the sex, but I'm sure some uptight school marm might consider it smutty.
Do you want to know what my blog would have been, if things had been different?
Title: Highfalutin Smut
Genre: Romance, Smut, Naughty Stories
Highlights: Best (i.e. most hilarious) description of male anatomy, female anatomy, and/or Other anatomy and/or orgasm.
Overviews of plot, characters, and whether or not I liked it.
Rating system: Inches, duh. Each section would get a rating, how uh, enticing it is, how believable the plot, etc. The combined score would be the Falute. The better the smut the more Highfalutin.
Just think, you guys could be reading Highfalutin Smut right now. Instead, I went for something a little more cerebral... and I still write about oversized penises, glowing vampire poop, and sadistic ponies (although, Rupert isn't sadistic in that particular story).
I don't absolutely hate the book like the writer of this review, but I do think she points out all the major flaws (which I mostly agree with).
There needs to be a blog called Glowing Vampire Poop now.
ReplyDeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteI would probably read it...especially if it was a webcomic.
You should do a Highfalutin Smut Month, so you don't burn out. I volunteer to guest blog for that right now if you do it.
ReplyDeleteOh Dayna,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I could even stand a whole month, even with help. Why don't we settle for a week? Would Valentine's be too trite and obvious? I would posit Sweetest Day, but it's almost right after Banned Book Week and I need to get back to my regular lists.
I wont give away the plot but this was one of those books that had you up until the small hours to finish it. A new type of romance that is much better than average. The publisher new that this warranted a hard cover promotion and they were not wrong.
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