26 June 2010
Day 91: Dan Walker (guest blogger)
Despite the fact that I gave this book a two-star rating on Goodreads and I was really pushing myself to get through it, it sure has given me a lot to talk about. One of the driving plot elements in this book is a distinct lack of communication between any of the characters.
Communication, I have learned, is really key to a solid relationship. Amy's taught me a lot about being completely open with someone, and while it's not something I'm good at, I think I'm definitely improving. It's tough being so honest, and it helps that I'm a terrible liar.
The problem that I think a lot of couples have is, even when they try to communicate with one another, they don't really go far enough. What's holding them back? An easy scapegoat is movies. Think about the last movie you saw, dramatic or comedic, where a couple was having some kind of issue. How long would that movie have been if they had just been open with honest each other? Didn't hold back the truth? Didn't make assumptions? I'm willing to bet that a lot of our examples of how to act in a relationship come from movies and television, and those people are dysfunctional as hell, because that's what brings in the viewers. So we think that we're supposed to hold things back, keep emotions and thoughts to ourselves, and we go right on making ourselves miserable because of it.
The fact is, we shouldn't be acting like this. We don't have to. But I've even got trouble shaking that hangup; there are just some things that I assume people don't talk about, because I've never really heard anyone talk about them. And perhaps more so than lying or holding back the truth, making assumptions is the worst mistake that we can make. Almost all the misunderstandings and arguments that my fiancee and I
have had, big or small, have been because one of us made an assumption (and yes, it's usually me). Assumptions just plain don't work; making an ass out of you and umption and all that. It's difficult to get out
of that habit when you've spent your life making assumptions about things.
Can we really blame Hollywood for all of this? I don't know. Like I said, they're an easy scapegoat. They sure aren't doing anything to show people how to communicate, that's for sure. Regardless, we can't all have awesome partners like my snoogie booboo sugar dumpling, who know how to communicate and who are willing to be patient and teach us their ways. :)
Dan Walker (pseudonym) is a writer from Northeast Ohio, who would be teaching ESL if he wasn't unemployed. He received a BA in Creative Writing from Wright State University in 2004 and a Masters in Teaching English as a Second Language from Kent State University in 2009. He will make some lucky librarian a wonderful husband someday.
This blog post was originally written May 23, 2010 in order to give the regular author time to do anything, but blog.