Or, the post in which I have a conversation with myself and try to type with a wrist brace so my carpal tunnel doesn't flare up like crazy.
Me: Banning books is the patriotic duty of every citizen to protect our children from subversive ideas.
Me2: Our entire country was founded on the principle of subversive ideas! Exactly which ones are you opposed to?
Me: All of them.
Me2: Violence? Disrespect of authority? Plotting against the government?
Me: Yes, we should teach our children to be good obedient children who turn the other cheek. Plotting against the government is treason and should be discouraged no matter what the government does.
Me2: But...the United States would never have come to be if we didn't have a Revolutionary War against the crown of England.
Me: That war was okay, it was patriotic.
Me2: Actually, no it wasn't. At that time most people still considered themselves citizens of England or other countries that they immigrated from.
Me: Are you calling our founding fathers immigrants?! How dare you, you cowardly, flag burning heathen.
Me2: What do you call people flooding into countries that are not originally theirs and taking up the resources of the native population?
Me2: ...Okay... Moving on. What about sex and romance, what's wrong with that?
Me: Everything is wrong with that! Sex is immoral and romance is even worse.
Me2: How exactly is romance bad?
Me: It leads to sex.
Me2: Is there anything you're not opposed to?
Me: Good family values.
Me2: So...would And Tango Makes Three be okay?
Me: NO!!! That's Gay!
Me2: Alright... so what does that leave?
Me: Good Christian literature.
Me2: Like the Bible?
Me: Obviously, yes.
Me2: The Bible has war, famine, wrath, vengeance, love, and homosexuality in it, not to mention slavery, rape, and prostitution. And Jesus was the biggest subversive of his time.
Me: You can't ban the Bible.
Me2: But it has the same problems as all those other books.
Me: But it provides us with a way of finding comfort in our darkest times and gives us a guide on how to be good people.
Me2: Some people find that in other books, like The Giver, Catcher in the Rye, The Scarlet Letter, and Harry Potter.
Me: Harry Potter is banned?
Me2: Yes, fundamentalist Christians think that depicting magic in a positive light somehow detracts from God or encourages experimentation in witchcraft.
Me: But...he's the chosen one destined to save us all from evil.
Me2: I promise not to ban your book, if you won't ban mine.
Me: I still don't like you.
|for calling women whores, curse words, racially insensitive content, and depictions of defying authority.|