17 October 2010

Day 204: Kane and Abel

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer.  ISBN: 9780671251215.

While in Europe, one of the characters decides he's just going to get married.  Right there.  It's great, because there are days when I want to get married just like that.  Just drag my fiance into a courthouse, get our marriage license, hop over to a UU church and have the certificate signed, and just be done with it.
I would still probably throw a fancy dress party for all our friends and family, and we would probably even have a brief ceremony where we exchange vows, but the longer I have to wait to actually get married with what seems like little progress toward that goal (since neither of us are particularly financially stable), the more I want to have that quicky wedding.
This is a common exchange between Danny and me.
"Wanna get married?"
"Okay, let's do it tomorrow."
"Wait, what, no."
I half hope that one day he will just say yes and instead of asking him, "Why am I marrying you again?" I can use the past-tense.  There's part of me that thinks marriage should be just spontaneous and wonderful as falling in love, and planning a wedding kind of goes completely against that.  I wonder if anyone out there has done research to show how many couples break up because of issues surrounding the planning.  It would not surprise me if it was higher than 8%.

Then again, while falling in love is spontaneous, staying in love is definitely not.  My relationship with Danny takes a lot of work.  In some ways we are such different people that we occasionally completely misjudge each other and one or both of us gets pissed off.  So in that sense being in love does require planning and work.

I just feel frustrated that not only can I not proceed with my professional life until something happens, but my personal life is also in a kind of standstill.  It's not exactly that things would change between Danny and me if we were married, but I'm annoyed that there's anything blocking us from getting married even if it's our own sense of responsibility.  So part of the thrill I would get from the Courthouse marriage would be saying, "Forget it, I don't care if I behave irresponsibly for this Most Important Decision, I'm getting married today regardless of what happens."  Unfortunately I have no way of making this happen as Danny will never agree to it, and really it's just not a good idea anyway, but it's one of those thoughts that keeps me happy.

My review can be found on Goodreads.

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