Day 219: Consider the Lobster

"Up, Simba" in Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace. ISBN: 9780316156110.

Tomorrow I go to the polls to vote for the fourth time in my life.  It seems that I vote every other year, but I first started paying attention in 2000 after my history teacher told us to watch the election results and fill in a map.  By the morning, the results still hadn't been finalized and Florida was purple from being colored in red and blue and red and blue as the News predicted it going one way or the other.

During the next presidential election, the first one I was able to vote in, I was working with the Syracuse Peace Council.  We were not allowed to endorse a candidate, but we could ask people not to vote for someone.  So most of my time during that co-op was spent staking Anyone But Bush yard signs.  I sometimes wonder where this country would be if he hadn't been re-elected, but on the other hand we no longer have to worry about his second term in office.

I am not against voting Republican.  Some of the Republicans I've met have been very reasonable people who I would be proud to vote for.  Unfortunately, those aren't the Republicans who tend to run for office.  I actually had a good amount of respect for McCain before the Republicans seemed to twist his poor little brain into what is today.  One of my relatives, typically a Democrat, stated she gladly would have voted for McCain if he ever ran for president.  That was of course before this:

 

 I actually have an incredible amount of respect for John McCain.  He certainly has made sacrifices for our country, has tried to be the voice of reason in what has turned into a completely unreasonable profession.  And I am just saddened at where the United States is now and how small groups of people are able to warp good men like him.  It's almost enough to make you wish for a monarchy except that would make it even easier for corporations to get their way.

*Photo credit to: TMZ.

I don't necessarily agree with this review, but I think it's well written, entertaining, and makes some good points.

Day 209: Consider the Lobster

"Authority and American Usage" in Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace. ISBN: 9780316156110.

I love this essay for several reasons.  The first is the fact that Wallace is assigned to review a dictionary and usage guide.  This is something I'm somewhat familiar with doing.  I won't say I've had the experience or practice of a more seasoned librarian, but I'm pretty good at looking at a reference source and knowing what kind of library or person would find it useful, how they might use it, and the general bent or lean of the author or publishing organization.

It's true, even dictionaries have agendas.

The other thing I liked was Wallace reminding the reader that language is a tool.  This tool has a particular goal of communicating ideas, concepts, directions, emotions, etc. to other people.  However, it is also a tool for defining identity.  For instance, if I happened to speak French as a first language you would know I was from one of a handful of cultures and could possibly guess that I was from Canada or France given my pasty skin tone and Americanized manner of dress.  But it goes further than that: each language has its own dialect and even its own slang subsets.  Fifty year-old white men do not talk the same way that 15 year-old girls do, even if that 50 year-old happens to be the 15 year-old's father.

So what?
 

Well, I'm going to say something that kind of makes me want to die a little inside: As much as I don't like it, text talk has its uses as a language.  I hate it.  I hate what it has done to people's already poor spelling abilities.  I hate that I have picked up bad text habits simply because I read so much of it that it becomes incorporated into my internal spell checker/grammar guide.  I am really fucking tired of seeing people spell "indefinite" as "indefinate" (it's WRONG!) and spelling out etc. as "ectcetera."  There's not even a "c" in front of the "t" in the abbreviation, why are you doing that?

 

On the other hand, a large portion of the population now communicates via text message, Facebook, and Twitter.  These mediums are usually pretty limited character-wise, so the drooling-idiot butchering of a traditionally rich and wordy language makes sense.  Of course we need a shorthand under those circumstances in which to fully communicate ideas and intentions.  However, if you try to communicate in that language to someone who doesn't speak it, you are going to get stared at blankly.  Therefore, put down the cell phone and start composing lengthy letters to your grandmother, who will not only appreciate it, but may provide you with the benefit of a complete education in etiquette and what it was like growing up during World War II, then maybe you'll stop your bitching about your broken iPhone.

 

There, I've made concessions, go learn proper English.  I'll work on typing liek I dont no how 2 rite, fml, lolz.

 

I don't necessarily agree with this review, but I think it's well written, entertaining, and makes some good points.

Day 208: Consider the Lobster

"Certainly the End of Something or Other" in Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace. ISBN: 9780316156110. 

Wallace provides excellent analysis of one of Updike's characters after explaining why my generation and several before me dislike Updike's writing so much. Wallace states, “It never occurs to [Ben Turnbull of Toward the End of Time], that the reason he's so unhappy is that he's an asshole.”

Most of the people I've met who have had this affliction do not realize that they're assholes because they have some form of social dysfunction, whether through genetic misfortune or being locked up in a basement their entire lives (literally or figuratively), that prevents them from realizing they are being assholes.  This is where I think being more honest and forthright would come in handy. 

Generally when someone says or does something that makes them sound like a dick, everyone shrugs it off because we're all too damned polite to say anything about it. So really we only have ourselves to blame when the giant moose shows up at our next party and poops on the rug again. The big dumb moose doesn't know it's wrong, because he's a freakin' moose. I can see where you confused him as a civilized human being because all the fashionable moose are wearing human this season, but you still invited him to the party (or his date who was tasteless enough to date him in the first place and even more tasteless to actually bring him to your fancy No Mooses Pooping on the Rug Party).

It's not that we don't want him to be a moose, but there are certain expected behaviors when you are in the company of not-Moose. It is very reasonable to take the moose aside and calmly explain that pooping on the rug is unacceptable and if he does it again he can expect to be shunned until he is an old moose, after which he will die alone only to end up as a stuffed head in the ski lodge where he will be forced to watch the ski bunnies he so desired frolic with much more handsome and well-adjusted moose. 

There are of course also the people who don't have the excuse of being afflicted with social dysfunctions.  These are people who have somehow been told that they are incredibly amazing people who can never do any wrong.  They are usually physically attractive and/or rich and/or insanely smart, or at the very least have been treated as such for so long that it no longer matters if they are or were ever any of those above mentioned qualities. I'm not sure that there's really any help for these people for a number of reasons. Usually they have been told that they are (acting like) assholes, but because they are such big assholes they usually figure that someone is being oversensitive, or in terms an asshole is more likely to use, "a pussy." 

I've noticed that these people are often surrounded by their own kind (when they have friends at all) with the occasional unsuspecting decent person being attracted to the previously mentioned Smarts, Good Looks, or Money without realizing exactly how big an asshole they just attached themselves to.  If you need to know whether or not you're associating with one, take a good look at their friends.  If you can tell they're all assholes, you're dating an asshole.  If they have one or two asshole friends that they only grudgingly hang out with, you're probably okay.  If you can't tell, you might want to think about the last time someone said something about your behavior and how you responded to that information.

I don't necessarily agree with this review, but I think it's well written, entertaining, and makes some good points.

Day 207: Consider the Lobster

"Big Red Son" in Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace. ISBN: 9780316156110.

I have quite a few mixed feelings about porn. I think most women do, and really most people should. I don't necessarily think that there is anything wrong with the actual existence of pornography, but unless you make your own, there's no real way to ethically consume or watch porn. It is just to easy too objectify the men and women involved when they are engaged in an already fairly degrading act. You can argue all you want about how sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing when done with the right person and babies, blah, blah, miracle of life blah, but when it comes down to it, it's incredibly messy and not very dignified. Really the only reason to have sex with someone is because you trust them enough to see you at your least sexiest moment. Grunting, sweating, and flopping naked bits of flesh aren't actually all that sexy.

I won't say that porn is necessary to sate a male need to look at naked women. Because I don't think that's true, or at least not entirely. I think men have always masturbated to images of women, regardless of how much clothing they wear or how big of a penis they are currently involved with. The more graphic the images, the more titillating obviously, but somehow I doubt they produce any better of an orgasm than a lingerie catalog. Maybe some of my male readers can comment on this since my female brain is obviously wired a bit differently in the visual arousal department.

I certainly think that porn has become more degrading. I don't exactly seek it out, but as someone who uses the internet I occasionally stumble on it and am usually completely turned off.  This might have something to do with the fact that I am generally not turned on by large breasted women with their legs behind their head giving me an all too clear view of their bleached and waxed assholes. Don't get me wrong, I love women, I think they are sexy, I enjoy looking at naked women on a completely aesthetic level and can certainly see how they would arouse men.  I am not so keen on looking at the anus and I honestly don't get the appeal of doing so. Sure, okay, anal sex, woo, that can be sexy, but the anus itself? Really? That turns people on?

I think porn also sets a really unreasonable expectation of women. I'm talking specifically about mass produced porn that involves little to no script and absolutely no character development. Obviously this is porn produced mostly for straight, or presumably straight, men who just want to see their fantasies in action. If they can't be the plumber who stumbles on two college co-eds in the shower, at least he can watch the schmuck who does. Unfortunately I think this also leads to the ever hopeful male expectation of women just being constantly available. Maybe there is porn out there somewhere where a man actually asks a woman if she would like to have intercourse rather than the woman or women in the porn seeing someone with a penis and all of a sudden going into a sexual frenzy.

The women in these films are often downright abused physically. Even if they're willing (on whatever level) to do that to their bodies, it doesn't mean that producers, etc. should allow or be allowed to let them put themselves in that kind of danger.  Most hardcore pornography does not include the use of condoms or other safe sex methods, and even with regular STD testing (which at least is required by the industry) there are bound to be people who slip in and infect someone before the next test is scheduled, this does not even take into account the incubation periods for most STDs.


Not only this, but sex is hard on a body. It is by nature invasive, and for those of us who have been lucky enough to have very long and vigorous sessions, the aftermath is not so pleasant. Imagine having it be your job to be that sore and torn and friction blistered? It's not only uncomfortable, but puts added stress on your body in a way that more normal occurrences of sex do not.

Despite all of this, I don't think people should stop purchasing or even making porn, but I do think they should be a little bit more mindful about the conditions these people probably go through for their job. Most are well paid, but you can only really last so long in an industry that is that rough on your physical and mental health.

I don't necessarily agree with this review, but I think it's well written, entertaining, and makes some good points.