Showing posts with label audrey niffenegger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label audrey niffenegger. Show all posts

20 September 2010

Day 177: The Time Traveler's Wife


The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  ISBN: 9781598872712 (audiobook).

I don't think I could stand having a lover that time traveled.  I think if I knew when I started dating a person that they had this problem, I would have to be pretty sure the relationship was going to last.  Imagine being in love with someone who popped in and out of your life, and you never knew when they were going to show up, or for how long, or which version of them it would be. 

One day you could be with your 20-year-old lover, and the next day you could be with him at 40 after you've just had a messy divorce and he hates your guts.  Or you could be with both at the same time.  Wouldn't that be fun.

I think the nice thing about linear time (at least as far as we can perceive) is that we only have to go through stuff like that once.  We get to be and deal with each other as 20-year-olds for only a year.  Imagine traveling back in time and watching your 20-year-old self doing stupid shit you know you're going to regret, and not being able to do anything about it because it's already happened, and therefore you cannot change it.  Or better yet, having your 20-year-old self travel forward in time and seeing how pathetic you become and dishing out the criticism, etc.  We're already self-critical of ourselves in the present; now imagine actually having that manifest in physical form.  You know you would kick your own ass, and not regret doing it either.

Now imagine having a lover, a person you became extremely vulnerable to and told all your secrets to and likely had many, many embarassing moments with (because sex is dumb like that).  Now imagine that lover can pop in and out of your life as a 20-year-old.  Sure, it might be fun when you're 36 and successful and still dating the 38-year-old version of your lover to take the 20-year-old version to bed, because damn that would be hot.  It's not so hot when you're 70 and starting to go senile and occasionally can't make it to the bathroom on time and your lover has been dead for 30 years and now he's popped back in and he is almost godlike in his youthful beauty and he is looking at you like, "Thank god I'll be dead and don't have to wake up to that in the morning."

As romantic as Niffenegger made it all sound, I somehow doubt it would all work together so perfectly, and there would be far more heartache involved than just time traveling back to your mother's fatal car accident or the night your ex-girlfriend committed suicide.  I think it would be terribly messy and you probably wouldn't live to the ripe old middle age that Henry managed to get to.  Give me regular linear time travel any day.  I'd rather my heartbreak only show up in the here and now and not come unbidden into my future.

I don't absolutely hate the book like the writer of this review, but I do think she points out all the major flaws (which I mostly agree with).


19 September 2010

Day 176: The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  ISBN: 9781598872712 (audiobook).

I think one of the major reasons to read books versus watching the movie is for little gems like this,

“I now have an erection that is tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America.”

Nice.

Strangely I was not expecting this line from uh, literary fiction?  Science fiction?  Romance?  Where does this book really fall?  I don't know that there's actually enough science fiction in it to qualify it there, and not enough graphic sex scenes for it to be smut, although there's definitely more than enough.  It's not so literary as to be literary fiction.

In any case, I sometimes purposefully read romance novels expressly for descriptions such as this.  Because I bet you are also still laughing your ass off and imaging a giant penis standing in a roller coaster line next to one of those cartoon cardboard cut outs with the "Must be this tall to ride" signs.  The truth is, romance novels are such a guilty pleasure of mine that I almost considered starting a blog just for that.

The problem with a romance novel blog is that it necessitates reading romance novels regularly enough to write about them on a regular basis.  There is only so much titillation I can stand, and only so many descriptions of "pulsing purple warheads" and "round globes of flesh" I can read before it loses all meaning and what little charm it had to begin with.  On the other hand, I do read romance novels.  So you will at least someday see a post or two about them here on Lib's LIB.  Depending on your definition I've actually already covered two romance novels by Gail Carriger.  Personally, it's a little too plot driven and can stand on it's own without the sex, but I'm sure some uptight school marm might consider it smutty.

Do you want to know what my blog would have been, if things had been different? 

Title: Highfalutin Smut
Genre: Romance, Smut, Naughty Stories
Highlights: Best (i.e. most hilarious) description of male anatomy, female anatomy, and/or Other anatomy and/or orgasm.
Overviews of plot, characters, and whether or not I liked it.
Rating system: Inches, duh.  Each section would get a rating, how uh, enticing it is, how believable the plot, etc.  The combined score would be the Falute.  The better the smut the more Highfalutin.

Just think, you guys could be reading Highfalutin Smut right now.  Instead, I went for something a little more cerebral...  and I still write about oversized penises, glowing vampire poop, and sadistic ponies (although, Rupert isn't sadistic in that particular story).

I don't absolutely hate the book like the writer of this review, but I do think she points out all the major flaws (which I mostly agree with).
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