Showing posts with label packing for mars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label packing for mars. Show all posts

08 October 2010

Day 195: Packing for Mars

Packing for Mars by Mary Roach.  ISBN: 9780393068474.

So, I think the main thing this book taught me is how much I freakin' love gravity. It makes most bodily functions easier and cleaner.  It also prevents me from becoming a spinning ball of misery and vomit.

In space, no one can hear you scream, because you're more likely to be horking your lungs out.  People apparently get motion sickness without gravity because our brains are designed to find up and down, which is no doubt useful on a planet, but space does not give a damn about your silly "up and down" notions.

I'm not one to get sick very easily, but I somehow doubt my stomach is any stronger than those of people who routinely ride something called a vomit comet.  I've been on boats, airplanes, and tiny prop planes before, but you can easily fix the motion sickness by getting to a place where you can see the horizon.  Motion sickness stems from your inner ear telling you that you're moving, while your eyes are telling you a much different story.  In space, your inner ear is constantly trying to reorient itself and figure out where the hell you are.  You do apparently get used to it eventually, but in the meantime...lots and lots of puking, and usually with almost no warning.

So not only are there likely to be floating turds, but you can expected unexpected astro-yak in the mix.  Thankfully even puking in your space suit has been accounted for.  This is awesome, because of all the ways I don't want to die, drowning in my own vomit is somewhere near the top of the list.  On the other hand, it means having your space spew blown down into your suit.  It's away from your face...but...yeah.

Once again, I think I'll leave space exploration to the professionals.  In the meantime, me and Walt will hang out in the cryochambers and be sent up later when things aren't so messy.

A good review can be found over at one of my favorite book blogs, eclectic/eccentric.

07 October 2010

Day 194: Packing for Mars

Packing for Mars by Mary Roach.  ISBN: 9780393068474.

First off, I'm going to recommend that anyone disgusted by bodily functions not read the posts about this particular title.  Roach more or less tells us everything we wanted to know about how astronauts do things in space, even though we don't really want to know.  For the 12-year-olds in my audience, keep reading.

Oh my god, I don't want to go to space anymore.  As cool and amazing as it would be to fly in a soup can and be able to look down on the earth, I now fully appreciate the joys of pooping with the aid of gravity.  I am very much in awe of the scientists who were both willing and able to figure out the problems of dropping loads waste management in zero gravity.  And unfortunately not all of the problems have really been solved.

Apparently floating runaway poop is a very, very common occurrence.  Imagine: you're just kicking back watching the earth speed away from you and wondering at how amazing it is, only to have a hard flash-frozen floater bump you like a small, friendly brown dolphin.  I don't know about you, but I'm flailing in "ick factor" right now.

So, not only does gravity help keep poop in it's place, but it also helps tell you when it needs to go there.  Without gravity you are prone to soiling yourself and actually have to plan trips to the bathroom, regardless of whether or not your body is telling you to go.  Apparently in zero gravity, even the fluids inside you bounce around, oh god, pooponauts are using your colon as their own private space shuttle.  Roach actually inserts bits of NASA transcripts and in one there's an exchange between two astronauts where "poop time" is scheduled, as in one of our heroes of space turns to the other and says, 'Dave, I'd like to take a crap sometime.'  Ah, the glamorous life of an astronaut.

I'm not going to give you the details of actually pinching loaves in space, but let's say it involves far more work than I'm willing to put into it and being far more intimate with fecal matter than I ever want to be.  I'll let the other guys fly to space, but if they ever figure out artificial gravity, and need a good librarian, I'll be happy to take a job at the International Lunar Library and Archives.  Just don't ask me to shit like an astronaut.

 A good review can be found over at one of my favorite book blogs, eclectic/eccentric.

As a bonus, I created this work for Better Book Titles, which is an often hilarious and amazing blog if you have a basic knowledge of literature.

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